As I continue to coach corporate women in the entertainment business,

However, as you work to build your personal brand for success, you have to remember it is all about perception. Perception is reality and how others feel about your approach is what is most important if you want to advance. This is where emotional intelligence comes in.

“All learning has an emotional base.”
–Plato

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ depending on who you talk to) is the ability to perceive, identify, control, manage and evaluate your emotions. It’s about understanding and connecting with your own emotional tendencies as well as understanding and connecting with others in ways that are most beneficial. Although there are many different models to look at as it relates to emotional intelligence, the mixed model, first introduced by psychologist Daniel Goleman, focuses on four basic tenets and skillsets that you should master in order to be successful in your career or business:

• Self-Awareness – The ability to recognize      your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior. Being      self-aware gives you the ability to use your intuition as a guiding force      in your decisions which can dramatically boost your self confidence.
• Self-management - The ability to control your      impulsive feelings and behaviors. Self-management is also having the      ability to be self-disciplined, manage your emotions effectively, take      initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing      circumstances.
• Social awareness – The ability to understand      the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional      cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a      group or organization.
• Relationship management – The ability to develop and      maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence      others, work well on a team, and manage conflict.

You can improve in these areas of emotional intelligence. It just takes time and patience. Here are 4 simple ways to improve your emotional intelligence:

1) Get to know yourself. Spend time thinking about where your emotions come from and why. Get clear about what motivates you, what you do well and how you connect with others. Emotions serve a specific purpose because they are reactions to what is going on in the world around us. Know what your triggers are and why you have them. I like to journal, meditate and spend time “getting to know” my emotions and understanding what makes me tick.

2) Slow down. This is a hard one for me because I am intuitive – I have a tendency to act quickly and occasionally be reactive. It is important to remember that it is not always about you. Take time to think about situations and look at alternative explanations. My mother often says, “Things are not always the way they appear.”

3) Connect with others. According to published reports, 55% of communication is non-verbal. We move at such a fast pace and are so focused on what we need to do that sometimes we forget about the needs of other people. It is important that we take the time to tune into what others might be thinking and feeling about a situation and have the ability to adjust ourselves accordingly. You can practice this skill in any social situation – when you are networking, working with your peers or in meetings.

4) Give cupcakes! We all know that having and maintaining good relationships is the key to career success. I love empowering and inspiring others to be their best selves through coaching, mentoring and training. Use your talents and skills to share, motivate and give back to your teams in positive ways.

Although I still believe that there is nothing wrong with having a little “edge,” I have also learned the truth of the saying “You can catch more flies with honey…”. Everyone can learn to understand, improve and build their emotional intelligence. Get clear on your goals and objectives; take assessments to determine your level of emotional intelligence if you don’t know what it is; and start taking small steps to improve. Once you begin to master the four areas stated above, you will notice a huge shift in your relationships, your approach to work and your productivity. I know I have!

Let’s face it:

Here are 5 ways to “rev up” that positivity muscle:

Focus on what you want. Positive people look at the big picture.  You might be a Sr. Manager with your eye on an Executive Director title. You may be planning to take the plunge and start your own business.  By focusing your thoughts on what you want and being optimistic about it rather than what you don’t want (to stay where you are), you will create a situation that will create a positive outlook in anticipation for that next step.

Educate yourself. Professional development and self-education are great ways to live a more positive life. Read books on the areas of your life you want to improve. Take professional development classes. For example, if you want to improve in your public speaking or presentation skills, join a Toastmasters club or take a workshop on the subject.

Appreciate. This is a very simple gift that you can give to yourself and others and will bring more positivity into your life. I have also found that just being appreciative can turn an angry, sad and frustrated mood around to a more positive one. Everyday, think of at least 5 things to be grateful for in your current role at work. It could be flexibility or autonomy in how you do your job, helpful and friendly colleagues, interesting and exciting work, a great boss who is more like a mentor than a boss, an easy commute, or your own successful contributions that you have given. Every day spend a few moments thinking about an aspect of your current work that you are grateful for.

Don’t compare yourself to others. This was a big challenge for me early in my career.  When you compare yourself to others you basically create a lot of unnecessary stress in your life. You can become insecure and not confident in your abilities. Remember, you are a unique individual with your own talents and gifts; and besides, you don’t know what that other person had to do to get where she is anyway! Focus on your own life. Do You.

Leverage Chance Opportunities. When you have a positive outlook you are more open to creating, noticing and acting upon chance opportunities. You can do this in many ways including, adopting a relaxed attitude, networking, and being open to new people and experiences.

By following these few simple tips, you will notice your mood lift, your outlook look brighter and you are ready to take on new and exciting challenges.  And here is another hint: others will notice it too and will respond in kind!

He was right.

Although, sensitivity can be a gift that could help others because of your attunement to environment, energy and thought pattens and because it is quite normal (nearly 15-20% of the population is sensitive in some way), being overly sensitive can actually hurt your career if not managed correctly.

Here are a few tips to help you manage your sensitivity at work:

• Change how you view criticism – It is usually negative self-talk secretly that says, “I am not good enough.” Change that paradigm and view criticism as if you are doing something great that is worthy of attention.
• Check your mood – sometimes it really not about what your co-worker is saying, maybe there is something deeper going on that you need to look at.
• Act, don’t react – say this like a mantra. Try not to blow things out of proportion or over exaggerate. If you do there is a strong possibility that people will not take you seriously and will assume you’re over reacting and distorting the truth.
• Check your body language – Facial expressions and body posture says a lot. Remain relaxed and calm. Think: ‘this is not about me.’ Keep your tone even and friendly.

Remember, it is okay to be sensitive (I am totally a sensitive person). We are kind, empathetic, creative and we love to help others. However, knowing how to effectively manage your sensitivity when you are confronted with challenges will make you even more successful in your career and in life.

Good mentors are hard to find, but not impossible. Ideally, mentors come into your life naturally. They take a keen interest in your career and well-being and want to show you the way. Natural mentors teach you about unspoken office politics, give you great advice, introduce you to key relationships and foster your growth and development. There are other times when you ask someone to be your mentor or are assigned a mentor who may not have the same kind of interest in your career as a natural mentor would. But you can cultivate and build a relationship with a sought after or assigned mentor. You just have to know what your goals and objectives are and how this mentor can help you meet those goals and objectives.

Here are a few key things to look for when choosing a mentor:

1. Look for a mentor to whom you admire and wish to emulate
2. Choose a mentor who can help you make key decisions about your life and career choices
3. Consider if this mentor is someone who can move you towards your goals
4. Look for a mentor to whom you can build a long term relationship
5. Find a mentor who is genuinely interested in you and your development

As you grow and your roles change in your career, finding new mentors will be critical. There will be different challenges to overcome, new things to learn and more guidance to seek. Mentors can be anyone – someone you work with, someone from your industry, a close friend or even a relative. Anyone who has a keen interest in your development and success can be your mentor. Another way of finding a mentor is through the hundreds of mentoring programs based in Los Angeles. Just Google, ‘Mentoring Programs in Los Angeles.’

It’s not a good idea to have a mentor if you are not willing to communicate with that mentor or follow his or her advice. Mentors are there to help you grow and develop. Sometimes mentors say things that you don’t want to hear or challenge you in ways that are not comfortable for you. If you are not willing to listen to their advice or go to these uncomfortable places, a mentor will be of little value to you.

As important as the mentoring relationship is, it is never a one-way relationship. It’s reciprocal. The mentor can get as much if not more out of the mentoring relationship as the mentee. The mentor gains new insights, learns new innovations, and most importantly, makes a valuable new friend and colleague.

However, when you take a closer look at failure, it can actually be a good thing. According to John C. Maxwell in the book Failing Forward, “One of the greatest problems people have with failure is that they are too quick to judge isolated situations in their lives and label them as failures. Instead, they need to keep the bigger picture in mind….failure is part of (the) process.”

Failure is just a precursor to success. During one of the most devastating financial setbacks this country has seen since the great depression, it is easy for many people to feel like failures. But as the old saying goes, “a setback is a set up for a comeback.” Here are a few tips to help you deal with failure in your career:

1) Take a Break. If you are laid off or fired, take some time to breathe, rest and reassess your career. Take some time off, even if it is just for a short time to do something you love: travel, do some gardening, work on a project you never had time to do. Do nothing if you so choose. But as you take the time off to think about something that you have always wanted to do, it may turn out to be a whole new career or that small business that you never thought of before.

2) Work on your skill set. If you didn’t get that coveted promotion, look at what skills you may be lacking and create opportunities to gain that needed experience. Take on extra projects at work, volunteer with an organization, go back to school, and network! Do not look at being passed over for a promotion as a sign that you cannot do the job. You can! You may just need to tweak a few skills.

3) Stay focused. It is easy to be traumatized by a failure or setback and want to just give up on your goal of getting to the C-suite. The path you are right now may not be the right path. It might mean that you have to take a different path in order to obtain your goal.

4) Learn that failure is part of success. As stated above, it is a process. You cannot succeed without having failed. Really learn from each setback and keep it moving.

In order to build, grow and sustain your career, you need to create a strategy; and using social networks is a key tactic. So, how do you build your career using social networks? Here are a few tips to get you started:

• Take a good look at where you are today. Think about these things: Who are you?
Where do you see yourself? What are your goals and passions? What does your current network look like? You can’t create a social networking strategy until you take a good look at where you are now and where you want to go.

• Develop your personal brand (see article ‘How to create a brand called you’). In terms of social media, build and manage your digital assets so that others can discover and connect with you easily. Consider writing a blog, posting an article, commenting on an existing article or create a webinar, video blog or tele-seminar. All of these things help build your personal brand and give you much credibility in your field.

• Choose social media tools that are right for you. Consider having two profiles. Use one social network only for family and friends and use other social networking tools for your career. LinkedIN, for example, is a great tool for career and business people. It is also one of THE social media tools that potential employers utilize to source potential candidates.

• Monitor your online reputation. This is one of the most important things you can do. Google your name and review your social networks to see what others are saying about you. Utilize tools such as Google Alerts to keep track every time your name is mentioned.

Contrary to popular belief, it is not necessary to be on every social media network site known to man. It is best to be strategic and use social media networks wisely. Recruiters and hiring managers are overwhelmed by sifting through thousands of resumes per day. Choose the right networking tools and use them wisely. You will build credibility and an online presence that is – classic.

In the moment, it’s never easy to hear negative feedback about your work – an idea that you have or an objection that you raise. However, many Los Angeles career coaches agree that there are ways to deal with negative comments from your boss, co-workers, clients or colleagues:

• Keep your emotions in check. When most people hear a negative comment, their first reaction is to defend themselves. The key is to avoid getting emotional. Listen and take the information in.
• Consider the source. Where is this criticism coming from? Your boss who is in a bad mood, a jealous co-worker or a colleague who may be speaking from a personal experience? Consider if the criticism is really about you or something else. In addition, depending on what the criticism is about, consider it as a growth opportunity for your career.
• Ask questions. Make sure you asked the person giving the criticism for specific examples of what they felt was wrong with your performance, idea, project, etc. This will help give you clarity about the criticism and determine whether or not it is valid.
• Focus on what’s helpful for you and throw out the BS. Try to find value in what is being said to you.
• Say thank you and keep it moving. Consider feedback – whether negative or positive – as better than no feedback at all. The criticizer has taken time to seek you out to give you advice. Take in the information, thank the person and don’t fester with anger (if the advice was negative). Move on and continue to do the very best job you can.

Dealing with criticism in your career is not easy. But by handling criticism in a professional and mature way, you will not only move up the career ladder faster, it will show others your strength, courage and fearlessness in taking on any adverse challenge.

In these tough economic times, it is easy to have your confidence shaken when there is a lay-off or when you get passed over for a promotion, or when you didn’t get hired for that “dream job.” Even when things are going seemingly well, you feel that you must constantly prove your worth and value in order to keep your job.

With that said how do you build and keep your confidence as you move along your career path? Here are five important tips to remember:

1. There is a saying by Oscar Wilde: ‘be yourself because everyone else is taken.’ This is so true. When you try to be someone else it could potentially be perceived as inauthentic.
2. Always do what you feel is right. Even if others criticize your decisions. Trust yourself.
3. Keep a positive support system around you at all times. Every career professional should have a mentor or coach in his or her corner.
4. Identify your successes in your career and in your life. Write down your accomplishments, no matter how small. You will be amazed at how amazing you really are.
5. Think of failure as a good thing. Failure is all part of your success. If you haven’t failed, at least once, you’re not growing.
6. Be willing to take risks. If that means branching out on your own and starting your own business or taking another position to advance your career, then do it. Nothing says confidence more than taking a calculated risk.

Building your career confidence takes time. Consider this, as you move up the career ladder, you will gain more skills and as a result, more confidence in your abilities. Remember to ‘do you.’ By being yourself, knowing your value, trusting yourself and taking risks, your confidence will soar at each step in your career.

Sources:

http://www.britannica.com/bps/additionalcontent/18/25336828/CAREER-INSECURITY
Learn more about Kimberly Roush at: http://www.allstarexecutivecoaching.com/

In order to accomplish more in the workplace, you as the leader must learn how to effectively put together a team. Unfortunately, many managers do not do this very well. Teams tend to get created haphazardly. Consider taking the time to strategically put together an effective team.

Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Always pick team members who have a variety of different skills, knowledge, points of view and yes, personalities that work well together. You want to select members who are dependable and are capable of getting the job done.

2. Make sure you review the goals that the team will be working to accomplish. There will be corporate goals to consider, department goals and goals for the team. There must be understanding and buy-in from everyone in order to get the desired result.

3. Work with the team to devise a plan of action that will best achieve the goal. Remember, all opinions have value. Do not leave anyone out.

4. Look at each team member’s skills and together assign roles and responsibilities that are appropriate and will give each team member the ability to shine. Team members must understand that their role contributes to the overall goal and thus, is important.

5. Discuss expectations and how you as the leader will monitor performance. Explain when, where and how often you will give feedback.

6. The most important thing that you must have in every team is trust. Team members must feel that they will be able to communicate openly and honestly about concerns or wins as others listen with respect and integrity. Team members must be able to celebrate successes as well as solve problems and disagreements amicably.

7. Last, but not least, train your team in teamwork. Just because you handpicked your team and you are working with some of the greatest minds in your industry doesn’t mean that these people can work well together. Take time to review skills in project management, conflict resolution, communication and other team-building skills. Your team will function better and give you peace of mind.

By following these steps for building a team, you will be able to achieve far more and create more success than you ever would have achieved alone.

Believe it or not, there are people who still like their jobs. When the work is satisfying and advancement is evident, we are more productive and don’t mind taking on extra duties when warranted. But, with all the meetings, reports, employee problems and office politics, there is going to be a time when our jobs stress us out. How you cope with stress will determine if you are the kind of career professional who will advance to the upper rings of senior management or die trying.

Here are a few lessons to help you deal with workplace stress:

1. Breathe – It maybe cliché but it works. When you find yourself overwhelmed and stressed, take some deep breaths. It helps to lower your stress level.

2. Create a schedule – If you have several projects going at once, create a timeline for when your projects are due. Also, if at all possible, delegate projects to others. You do not have to do everything yourself.

3. Learn to say “No” – There is nothing wrong with saying no if you have too much on your plate already. Decline that extra project when your boss asks if you can take it on. You’ll save yourself from unnecessary stress and your performance on the work you do have will be better.

4. Take lunch – Many think it increases their productivity or shows commitment if they work through lunch. Well, it doesn’t. You need to eat something, taking a break and fellowship with your co-workers. This allows you to refocus and get more work done. If you are tired and hungry, you won’t be able to think and are less productive.

5. Get out of the office – If stress is getting to, leave the office for a while. Go for a walk, go to the gym or take a nap. Do whatever you need to do to rest your mind and gain some perspective. Once you come back to work to tackle the project, you will be more refreshed and will do a much better job.

Stress is part of our lives. As you move up the corporate ladder, you are going to deal with more and more stress. Don’t let stress ruin your career or workplace experience. Take steps to manage your stress level.